If you’re planning on getting married anytime soon, you likely already know that your celebration is going to come with a big bill. It’s often not until you get into the nitty gritty of planning the event, however, that you realize that you might be paying even more than you thought.
“There are two guarantees in life,” says Lauren Kay, executive editor of the The Knot. “Weddings are expensive. And like a home renovation or any other big project, you’re going to end up spending more than you thought you were going to.”
Indeed, 74% of newlywed couples say they went over budget to fund their big day, according to a recent survey from Zola, including 20% who say they overspent by at least $10,000.
It’s easy to see why people feel pressure to overspend, what with social media algorithms constantly serving up images of picture-perfect weddings.
“It’s important to remember that it’s all just a highlight reel. You may be seeing an amazing bouquet, but not realizing that they scaled back someplace else,” says Kay. “Try not to get caught up in that.”
Focus on what matters to you to help you stay within your budget, wedding experts say. Here’s how.
Find your ‘north star’
Funding a wedding is about balancing a long list of competing priorities. On average, couples hire 13 wedding vendors, which often include florists, bakers, caterers and musical entertainment.
To stay within your budget, you’ll have to get a realistic sense of what these things cost — The Knot and Zola are among sites that offer cost estimates and budgeting tools — and decide where you most want to spend your money, and where to cut back.
“You really can stick to your budget. It’s just a matter of deciding what your priorities are,” says Emily Forrest, head of communications at Zola. A couple that cares about having great music, for instance, might spring for a band rather than a DJ and make up the difference by scaling back on flowers, she says.
“Try to find two or three things that you’re aligned on and that are going to be the kind of north star of your planning and [budget for] those things first,” says Kay.
If you’re crunching the numbers and things aren’t adding up, consider pulling a few of the bigger levers in terms of cost, such as having your wedding on an offseason or a day other than Saturday, both of which tend to knock down venue costs.
Or consider trimming your guest list. “When you put pen to paper, the more people you invite, the more people you’re feeding, the more drinks you have to pour, the more rentals you need for tables,” says Kay. “It just starts to balloon.”
Rely on vendors’ expertise
It’s easy to feel like vendors are out to soak you. Never in your life would you have dreamed about paying so much for a dress or a cake or party invitations.
But remember: While this is likely the first wedding you planned, a prospective baker or florist may have done thousands. That experience puts them a unique position to help you if you’re communicative about your budget, says Forrest.
“There’s an idea that vendors are there to make money, and they are there to make money. Vendors are small businesses,” she says. “But at the same time, they’re also the people who will have really good tips on how to save money.”
Vendors are there to make money …. They’re also the people who will have really good tips on how to save.
Emily Forrest
head of communications at Zola
If you couldn’t afford the cost per head for a seated dinner, for instance, an experienced caterer could provide quotes for family style or buffet meals that could fit within your budget, Forrest says. Or a florist could point out that your favorite flowers are out of season and need to be imported – a bump in cost over local flowers.
“Working with vendors, being honest with them, and telling them the budget you have is a really good idea,” Forrest says.
Ask for cash, but don’t count on it
Even with careful planning and extensive conversations with vendors, you still may find yourself at the limits of your budget. No worries, you may be thinking: If we go over some, we’ll get it back in cash gifts, right?
Yes and no.
It’s certainly no longer considered gauche to ask for cash gifts in lieu of a registry full of household items. “Long gone are the days of that being a taboo thing,” says Kay.
It’s not at all unusual for couples to set up a “honeymoon fund” on their wedding website that essentially operates as a way for guests to give the couple money to use as they see fit.
“We do see a lot of couples using their cash fund to ask to help pay for their wedding. And I think that that’s a really smart thing to do,” says Forrest — especially if overspending on your wedding drove you into high-interest rate debt.
But counting on the money from gifts to cover a budget overage during the planning process is a risky move, wedding experts say. There’s no way of knowing how much you’ll actually receive. That means you may be spending money you won’t ultimately have.
“Budget for what you want to spend, not what you hope you’ll receive in gifts, because there are no guarantees,” says Kay. “Being able to throw a wedding that feels authentic to you and staying in budget is very doable. It’s just realizing you might make some compromises and you might do things a little differently.”
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